This blog is Copyright ©1995~2018 by Karl Denton
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Been a busy time...

It's been a while since I've updated my blog so I figured I'd get it done.

Things are busy here...

New studio is up and running:


I chose to keep the studio mostly for my engineering based art, the stuff I have to build and continue to create my oil paintings in my home based studio.  It's a great space in what used to be a stamping plant of some sorts.  Located at 333 Midland St. Highland Park MI, I am in Studio F.  Generally I get down to work there 2 or 3 days a week.  My daughter and I are in the process of looking for a home in the greater Detroit area so the commute will be far less.  Taking advantage of a MICHDA program where they help folks buy homes.  And as it turns out, I've been looking in the same neighborhood that I grew up in in Detroit.  Feels like I've come full circle. 

Now for updates on work: 

This piece in another in my series: Jesus of Suburbia called "Daddy found God in a bottle".


Made a great deal of progress on "The Genesis Plant" Working on a paper to describe how all of humanity came from this plant in one elegant fashion.


Finished this part of a much broader installation called "Primitive".


Made progress toward finishing "Something Wicked This Way Comes".


Got this ready to make a mold of for what will become a hanging lamp.  Not sure what to call it yet. 


And of course still producing abstracts, these are acrylic on canvas. 




Friday, September 23, 2016

Making sense of it...


Over 3 thousand pages of personally written notes, over 2 thousand pages of research, several thousand pages of emails and other documentation...it's time to make sense of it all.


I don't dare write the name of the company...figure it out on your own!

Saturday, August 6, 2016

As an artist...

... it is our responsibility to portray and capture what the real world is like, not just to re-create it by duplication of other art!

Right now we live in an era that will define the entire world for the next thousand years. So the way I see it our descendents can either "see" the truth in what we create or they can read the lies that are told to the masses by the government(s) and press!

And when I say "we" I mean the entire world the things happening now are not only happening to the US but the entire world!

Someday

Someday you will realize,
That I love you.

Someday you will understand,
How deep my love for you goes,
Until then you will hate me,
You will hate who I am,
You will hate my creativity,
You will hate my art and writings.

But someday you will come to realize,
That I love you,
That regardless what you think,
I have been devoted to you,
That I love you!

Someday you will wake up and realize that you are loved,
That you are loved by me!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

A place in my heart

You will always have a place in my heart,
I knew this to be true right from the start,
The passion between us was strong,
Nothing in my world at the time was wrong.

We have shared so many things,
There were times making love,
Was as if we both had wings,
and with bodies entwined,
as if the universe was watching from above.

Passion and touch,
lips that fit mine,
You will always have a place in my heart,
I knew this to be true right from the start.

Friday, November 6, 2015

She was

She was the kind that made you take a chance,
The kind that gave you that subtle glance,
When things were good they were the best,
But now all i have time for is rest.

Because she was the kind of girl that made you take a chance.
Turning love into a fight,
Always taking that no win stance,
She could never admit you the one who was right.

She was full of fun and adventure,
Never looking back at her self loathing indenture,
She pushed people away at the speed of light,
Always claiming to be right.

She was the kind of girl that made you take a chance,
The kind of girl that was full of pop and circumstance,
For her it was all about visual clues,
But in reality she was singing the blues.

Because she was the kind of girl that made you take a chance.
Turning love into a fight,
Always taking that no win stance,
She could never admit you the one who was right,
Because she was full of pop and circumstance.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Living life in the fast lane

She was living life in the fast lane
never slowing down,
never stopping despite the pain
her life was full of empty promises
like fields of lavender blue.

She was living life in the fast lane
never taking the time to say
i love you
her motives were self driven
her lies were acts against heaven.

She was living life in the fast lane
burning way to fast
she spent too much time
on the things that would never last
her complicated life would stop you in your tracks.

She was living life in the fast lane
coming on way to strong
exposing every weakness
never once admitting  she was wrong
never once stopping to listen to her own song.

She was living life in the fast lane
never slowing down,
never stopping despite the pain
her life was full of empty promises
like fields of lavender blue.

Monday, February 23, 2015

I have come to realize that creativity takes on many forms!

I wrote this to a friend on Facebook who claimed her spark went out years ago...


I have come to realize that creativity takes on many forms! 

Art, life, survival... this past year has been such a strain on me I have considered giving up art... in reality I have considered giving up everything!  This is the first time I have actually typed it out, said it to another.  But it's true!

I've lost my full time job, lost my house, lost my self confidence, divorced, spent 72 days in jail (nearly destroyed me), had permanent hearing loss and vision loss because of worsening MS and continue to swap the bills I can't pay this month but will in place of some other next.

And yet my mind generates ideas, thoughts throughout the year that I know I will either write about or create one day.

Of course when going through such events creativity gets diverted on how to survive, and surviving, what we do, means our creativity has survived because we us it to be sure!

Friday, February 6, 2015

I feel the need to say...

Hey France,

I see you visit often,
wondering about you,
as I always do.

I hope life is good,
like it was in the old hood.

Someday I will make my way back,
to the land I love,
unless Germany calls me sooner,
I will become the ultimate spooner.

France is the place to be,
regardless of the nonsense that is me.

It's nice to see you can't stay away~

Monday, October 6, 2014

Forever alone

The moon is high and bright
and alone is what I feel,
to realize there is no one
I have in my sights
is to be forever alone.

Times have come and gone
things were said,
things were drawn,
and as the moon rises high
I will be forever alone.

I paint with all that I have
my work is evidence of who I am,
and still in every way,
every day,
I am forever alone.

Each night I say sweet dreams,
each night I have those dreams,
wondering who I am supposed to be
wondering if I will ever be set free,
always knowing I am forever alone.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The saddest day

To learn that someone you've loved more intensely then anyone else is not who you thought, to experience anothers soul then discover there really was not much there,  to discover that despite all the indications of love, devotion it was empty! 

Today is the saddest day, I've discovered that the person whom I wanted, expected to share a life with was a lie, a fake, wanted nothing but to look out for herself.  I've never required much, never asked for much, gave 100% of my time to her despite the stresses of losing a house, getting divorced, dealing with several close calls with death, I was always there, always on call for her, she could depend on me regardless, no matter what...

I've needed very little from her until recently and have never felt so abandoned in my life, my ex-wife the person whom stated she has hated me for the past 30 years stood by me more intently only eclipsed by my daughter whom I am eternally proud of and love, but to have someone who openly hates me be there even more then a person who stated she loved me more then any/everything... there is something sobering in discovering this.

It is the saddest day because I've discovered that the woman I loved, put on the highest pedestal had nothing in her heart but herself, it is the saddest day because she can't see it, she is so blind to her own self importance that she can't see she has made the ultimate liar out of herself, it's the saddest day because in her words her "conscious is clear", it is the saddest day because without a thought in her head she will go off and do this again to the next guy who pays her that extra bit of attention, while I still have her on a pedestal and hating myself for it!

It is a sad day!

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Hope

Is hope a wish or an emotion?

I know that hope is the thing that gets every single person through to the next day:

I hope tomorrow will be better,
I hope I will get that job,
I hope I will get that promotion,
I hope that lottery ticket is a winner,
I hope she will love me,
I hope she will know me,
I hope there is food for tomorrow,
I hope we all are kept safe,
I hope it wont rain,
I hope it will rain,
I hope my favorite band makes a come back,
I hope my team wins in sports,
I hope my next work of art is the one,
I hope I am remembered for who I really am,
I hope you are happy,
I hope you are safe,
I hope tomorrow all of my hopes come true,
I hope...

"Hope springs eternal"

Above all other feelings or emotions, hope is the thing that brings every day to a close,
and it is the only thing that brings the new day in.

Regardless of age, status, sex, wealth, religious belief, political affiliation we hope,
we hope for all the things in our dreams to come true,
we trust that they will,
we have faith that they will,
and even when they don't,
the very next day we think to ourselves...

I hope!

Friday, June 6, 2014

I long for the day...

I long for the day when you realize we were meant to be,
that regardless of space and time you are here with me,
I long for the day when our hearts are healed,
when both of our fates are eternally sealed.

I long for the day when you are in my arms,
where I can keep you safe from any harm,
I long for the day when our lips once again touch,
because I know you miss me that much.

I long for the day when you come to me and say,
the things once thought are a trillion miles away,
I long for nights of passion and desire,
along with the mornings after,
both of us embracing in a hot shower.

I long for so much because I know it is true,
the love and heart ache that we both have gone through,
I long for you to realize that true love is not sex,
nor time together or the universe as seen from the city,
it is the way we both feel given the possibility,
that our worlds have been altered by the other,
I long for you to finally see that there is no other!

My love is enduring and deep,
it is expressed in my writings,
in my art and in my actions.

Someday you will see the things I long for you to see,
though I know you must in your time, in your way,
with out my presence setting you free,
I long for this day while kneeling on one knee!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Just write me a letter

All you have to do is write me a letter,
it will make you feel better,
I know you have adventures to tell me about,
I know that things have not worked out.

All you have to do is write me a letter,
telling me how thing truly are,
I know that things and words have gone to far,
so take a step and feel better.

All you have to do is write me a letter,
and say the things you want,
write about how you miss our talks,
write about our long walks.

All you have to do is write me a letter,
and you know in your heart,
you will start to feel better,
a hand written note that professes to say,
all the things you think about in a single day.

All you have to do is write me a letter,
I will remind you we are more then most,
that our minds think alike,
much like that photograph of "God is a blue bike".

Below is my address,
you know what to say,
I can tell by your visits,
you have something to tell me,
so if you are brave enough,
all you have to do is write me a letter.

email will not do,
all I ask is a hand written note from you,
and because this should be easy,
language does not matter...

Something I just discovered about me

My most creative years, the ones where I produced some of the most creative art in my life was done so because I was uninfluenced by others.  I just created the things I saw in my mind, not realizing they(the others) existed.

Then I got involved with one person, she entered my mind and everything since has been changed.  It is now hard to see what used to be in my mind, because time is measured from the time before her to the time after her.  Thus my creativity/mind is in turmoil, wandering through life without direction. 

As an artist who has more creativity/confusion brewing in his mind, I think it might be time to give way to the creativity of self other then the creativity of others influence.  In this the universes preplanned direction will unfold itself to me and I will then know the path to take.

This will undoubtedly lead me to more life without reality, but then life has been far from average, or even close to reality.  There is so much more then what is seen at the surface.  And it is this me, that I must now create from, this me that is wandering through life, all the while thinking that I am living in reality!

Because creating from the self will bring a far greater influence to this planet, this universe, then can be imagined~

Sunday, April 6, 2014

The actions of others

I have seen people at their worst possible moments, people are dark, complex and to be honest quite scary!  When I say I have seen this I mean to say I have been the head of security at three hotels near Detroit Metro Airport, I have worked with the local police, the DEA, the FBI and the Secret Service on various incidents and dignitary type visits to the area.  I have seen my share of death and how people react to it, I have even seen how horrible people can be when mass death occurs as I was one of the first responders to the crash of flight 255 at metro airport.  I have seen first hand how despicable people can be on large scales.  A while after that I became a reserve police officer for the city of Dearborn Heights, MI and again found out how stupid people are in general.  So when I say I have seen how the actions of others affect people I truly do mean it!

That said the following story still baffles me to this day!

In 2010 I started dating a woman (my marriage all but over at this time) who lived in Europe.  I guess I did not mind the distance because we saw each other on skype or spoke every day.  In November of that year I finally got brave enough to go there and visit her.  It was without a doubt the most fun I had ever had, the sex was great, the food was great and the scenery was fantastic.  I took several thousand photographs that trip and still look back fondly at them.  That trip was a week long action packed moment in time.

Several days after I had returned to the states, I received a panic phone call from her indicating that "someone" had created a fake Facebook account and had sent her then boyfriend who had just purposed to her in March of that very same year, her parents and herself an email.  She had asked if I had seen it or gotten a copy of it, I had not and to my amazement within moments the fake Facebook person sent me a copy as well.  Interesting I thought, and timely.  The email essentially described the fact that I had made the trip as well as things that were done on that trip that only she and I knew.  She accused me of telling everyone about the trip, telling everyone what we had done, that was confusing because I was not sure "who" everyone was considering I was not about to tell my wife or daughter and my time spent in my art studio I was alone 99.9 percent of the time!

I told her to calm down we would find out who did this somehow.  I was able to extract and save the entire Facebook page set up by this person and quickly discovered that there was a great deal of data imbedded in it.  I spent a few days pulling out what I could and then discovered what was a list of i.p. addresses.  At the time I thought they were nothing more then the addresses for those visiting the page.  I would soon find out the truth!

I purchased a piece of software the allowed me to enter the addresses and trace them.  They were not as it turns out individual addresses, they were all linked together and lead me to the person who created the Facebook page.  The results took only an hour to discover and because I had trouble lifting my jaw off the table at seeing the results I reran the trace several dozen times!  The trace lead me back to her, right down to her computer name.  Confused I wondered why exactly she would do this, why she would lie about it!  I decided not to tell her, but to point her in a different direction so I could some how verify this potentially damaging information.  So I concocted a lame story about someone else and every-time it was brought up I deflected it to: I need time, results need to be sure...blah, blah, blah.

When I say they were not i.p. addresses from individuals I mean they were of computers but the way the internet works when you visit a site you reach across many computers, the software I purchased traced a line from each i.p. address back to the only person who could have created the fake Facebook page.  Now I needed to verify what I had found out.  One of the things she would do was get ready for bed and fall asleep while I worked on my art while we were on Skype.  It was one of those things I enjoyed about our time together.  None the less during one of these Skype sessions I fired up the software I had purchased and ran a live trace.  One of the things I had discovered about the internet was that if a computer could reuse a known pathway it would.  The result of this trace was in fact nearly identical to the one above.  The most damning part of it was the fact that both traces pointed directly to her phone/internet service provider all the way down to her computer name.  They were identical on both traces!

Why would someone do this?  Was the question that kept creeping into my head.  Why would someone put her parents through such a thing let alone the man she claimed to want to marry, though the later was a bit sketchy considering she had been having affairs since he proposed just months before.  Maybe it was a way to break it off from him, maybe it was a way to anger her parents enough so they would leave her alone.  I really don't know, things got very crazy with both our lives in the months ahead and I would never talk about it, I never told her of the results I had found.  I did talk to a few other very close friends looking for some sort of reality check but again life got in the way so it was never discussed with her.

The actions of others are as confusing as ever, they hurt, they cause doubt in this case they were designed to hurt others.  She was one that used the word "hate" very often regardless if it was about a thing or person all the while claiming to be a "nice" person.  I do think she is full of hate, but hate mostly for herself.  That hate unfortunately gets misdirected onto others, her family, her friends, even her lovers.  I am most frustrated with the fact that she never came clean about this, I gave her endless opportunity, she kept to her story like the perfect little liar.

After seeing her once more here in the states and then again in her home town our relationship had come to a close, we tried on a few occasions to speak but the anger between us was and is still much to great.  My anger at having discovered who she really is will prevent me from ever communicating with her again.  I enjoyed the good times we spent together but someone that devious would stop at nothing to hurt others.  On a side note she did admit hacking into my email and Facebook that first week we spent together in Europe, oddly enough her reasoning was she did not trust me.  Not a way to start a relationship with someone, then again maybe all she wanted was to use me to drive a wedge further between her parents, her boyfriend and herself.  I don't know anymore as I question the reality of it all!

The actions of others cause pain and hurt, if she ever makes it back to my blog and reads this it will be the first time she discovers that I know/have known the truth of her actions, that I am embarrassed for her because of them, as I have been since the second I discovered it!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Creating a soul

No one lives for ever,
no one sees or looks beyond,
the things we think,
are never true,
but in you
I thought I was creating a soul.

My life has been full of strife,
my only gift back is producing life,
we see the things we want,
deny those that are not.

We try and create,
we live to masturbate,
you wont like these lines,
but in that I can relate.

We try and create the soul,
we want to be,
the life we hope we will live,
but in doing so the soul gets tired.

We love passionately,
despite what others want to see,
the soul I have created for you,
is the one I thought was for me to!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Why lie?

Human beings are wonderful things, we have the capacity to create, love, wonder at questions like "Why lie?" and statements like "Seriously that pisses me off." despite all of the negative things that hurt us throughout life.  We are resilient, resistant, trusting despite lies, caring despite being strangers... we are human and we are full of wonder!  We lie to protect our selves, to protect the ones we love, to free ourselves from embarrassment, we lie because we are human!  It is never the right thing to do but we can't help it we are human, full of wonder, full of lies~

My response to a friends posting on Facebook: "Why lie? Seriously that pisses me off."

And I have never met anyone who did not lie about something, ever!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

If there was passion in the world.

If there,
was passion,
in this world,
it would be you!

If there was passion,
in this world,
it would be true,
life would be as we see it.

If there was passion,
pain would no longer exist,
the desperate and lonely,
would not persist.

I wish for passion to be in every soul,
but I realize the world is what it is,
so passion takes a back seat to everyday things,
It will start with me because my heart sings.

I hope your world is filled to the brim,
with passion and love.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

A lost soul

Feeling lost and alone,
hiding in the darkness when the light is on,
remembering the soft touch of skin,
the feeling of being loved within,
it's gone!

Feeling lost and alone,
wandering alone with no help,
feeling the days slip past,
wondering about the last.

Feeling lost and alone,
spending days and nights
working in my studio,
wondering why!

Feeling lost and alone!