To learn that someone you've loved more intensely then anyone else is
not who you thought, to experience anothers soul then discover there
really was not much there, to discover that despite all the indications
of love, devotion it was empty!
Today is the saddest day, I've
discovered that the person whom I wanted, expected to share a life with
was a lie, a fake, wanted nothing but to look out for herself. I've
never required much, never asked for much, gave 100% of my time to her
despite the stresses of losing a house, getting divorced, dealing with
several close calls with death, I was always there, always on call for
her, she could depend on me regardless, no matter what...
I've
needed very little from her until recently and have never felt so
abandoned in my life, my ex-wife the person whom stated she has hated me
for the past 30 years stood by me more intently only eclipsed by my
daughter whom I am eternally proud of and love, but to have someone who
openly hates me be there even more then a person who stated she loved me
more then any/everything... there is something sobering in discovering
this.
It is the saddest day because I've discovered that the
woman I loved, put on the highest pedestal had nothing in her heart but
herself, it is the saddest day because she can't see it, she is so blind
to her own self importance that she can't see she has made the ultimate
liar out of herself, it's the saddest day because in her words her
"conscious is clear", it is the saddest day because without a thought in
her head she will go off and do this again to the next guy who pays her
that extra bit of attention, while I still have her on a pedestal and
hating myself for it!
It is a sad day!
