All you have to do is write me a letter,
it will make you feel better,
I know you have adventures to tell me about,
I know that things have not worked out.
All you have to do is write me a letter,
telling me how thing truly are,
I know that things and words have gone to far,
so take a step and feel better.
All you have to do is write me a letter,
and say the things you want,
write about how you miss our talks,
write about our long walks.
All you have to do is write me a letter,
and you know in your heart,
you will start to feel better,
a hand written note that professes to say,
all the things you think about in a single day.
All you have to do is write me a letter,
I will remind you we are more then most,
that our minds think alike,
much like that photograph of "God is a blue bike".
Below is my address,
you know what to say,
I can tell by your visits,
you have something to tell me,
so if you are brave enough,
all you have to do is write me a letter.
email will not do,
all I ask is a hand written note from you,
and because this should be easy,
language does not matter...
Showing posts with label Scarab Club. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scarab Club. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
The actions of others
I have seen people at their worst possible moments, people are dark,
complex and to be honest quite scary! When I say I have seen this I
mean to say I have been the head of security at three hotels near
Detroit Metro Airport, I have worked with the local police, the DEA, the
FBI and the Secret Service on various incidents and dignitary type
visits to the area. I have seen my share of death and how people react
to it, I have even seen how horrible people can be when mass death
occurs as I was one of the first responders to the crash of flight 255
at metro airport. I have seen first hand how despicable people can be
on large scales. A while after that I became a reserve police officer
for the city of Dearborn Heights, MI and again found out how stupid
people are in general. So when I say I have seen how the actions of
others affect people I truly do mean it!
That said the following story still baffles me to this day!
In 2010 I started dating a woman (my marriage all but over at this time) who lived in Europe. I guess I did not mind the distance because we saw each other on skype or spoke every day. In November of that year I finally got brave enough to go there and visit her. It was without a doubt the most fun I had ever had, the sex was great, the food was great and the scenery was fantastic. I took several thousand photographs that trip and still look back fondly at them. That trip was a week long action packed moment in time.
Several days after I had returned to the states, I received a panic phone call from her indicating that "someone" had created a fake Facebook account and had sent her then boyfriend who had just purposed to her in March of that very same year, her parents and herself an email. She had asked if I had seen it or gotten a copy of it, I had not and to my amazement within moments the fake Facebook person sent me a copy as well. Interesting I thought, and timely. The email essentially described the fact that I had made the trip as well as things that were done on that trip that only she and I knew. She accused me of telling everyone about the trip, telling everyone what we had done, that was confusing because I was not sure "who" everyone was considering I was not about to tell my wife or daughter and my time spent in my art studio I was alone 99.9 percent of the time!
I told her to calm down we would find out who did this somehow. I was able to extract and save the entire Facebook page set up by this person and quickly discovered that there was a great deal of data imbedded in it. I spent a few days pulling out what I could and then discovered what was a list of i.p. addresses. At the time I thought they were nothing more then the addresses for those visiting the page. I would soon find out the truth!
I purchased a piece of software the allowed me to enter the addresses and trace them. They were not as it turns out individual addresses, they were all linked together and lead me to the person who created the Facebook page. The results took only an hour to discover and because I had trouble lifting my jaw off the table at seeing the results I reran the trace several dozen times! The trace lead me back to her, right down to her computer name. Confused I wondered why exactly she would do this, why she would lie about it! I decided not to tell her, but to point her in a different direction so I could some how verify this potentially damaging information. So I concocted a lame story about someone else and every-time it was brought up I deflected it to: I need time, results need to be sure...blah, blah, blah.
When I say they were not i.p. addresses from individuals I mean they were of computers but the way the internet works when you visit a site you reach across many computers, the software I purchased traced a line from each i.p. address back to the only person who could have created the fake Facebook page. Now I needed to verify what I had found out. One of the things she would do was get ready for bed and fall asleep while I worked on my art while we were on Skype. It was one of those things I enjoyed about our time together. None the less during one of these Skype sessions I fired up the software I had purchased and ran a live trace. One of the things I had discovered about the internet was that if a computer could reuse a known pathway it would. The result of this trace was in fact nearly identical to the one above. The most damning part of it was the fact that both traces pointed directly to her phone/internet service provider all the way down to her computer name. They were identical on both traces!
Why would someone do this? Was the question that kept creeping into my head. Why would someone put her parents through such a thing let alone the man she claimed to want to marry, though the later was a bit sketchy considering she had been having affairs since he proposed just months before. Maybe it was a way to break it off from him, maybe it was a way to anger her parents enough so they would leave her alone. I really don't know, things got very crazy with both our lives in the months ahead and I would never talk about it, I never told her of the results I had found. I did talk to a few other very close friends looking for some sort of reality check but again life got in the way so it was never discussed with her.
The actions of others are as confusing as ever, they hurt, they cause doubt in this case they were designed to hurt others. She was one that used the word "hate" very often regardless if it was about a thing or person all the while claiming to be a "nice" person. I do think she is full of hate, but hate mostly for herself. That hate unfortunately gets misdirected onto others, her family, her friends, even her lovers. I am most frustrated with the fact that she never came clean about this, I gave her endless opportunity, she kept to her story like the perfect little liar.
After seeing her once more here in the states and then again in her home town our relationship had come to a close, we tried on a few occasions to speak but the anger between us was and is still much to great. My anger at having discovered who she really is will prevent me from ever communicating with her again. I enjoyed the good times we spent together but someone that devious would stop at nothing to hurt others. On a side note she did admit hacking into my email and Facebook that first week we spent together in Europe, oddly enough her reasoning was she did not trust me. Not a way to start a relationship with someone, then again maybe all she wanted was to use me to drive a wedge further between her parents, her boyfriend and herself. I don't know anymore as I question the reality of it all!
The actions of others cause pain and hurt, if she ever makes it back to my blog and reads this it will be the first time she discovers that I know/have known the truth of her actions, that I am embarrassed for her because of them, as I have been since the second I discovered it!
That said the following story still baffles me to this day!
In 2010 I started dating a woman (my marriage all but over at this time) who lived in Europe. I guess I did not mind the distance because we saw each other on skype or spoke every day. In November of that year I finally got brave enough to go there and visit her. It was without a doubt the most fun I had ever had, the sex was great, the food was great and the scenery was fantastic. I took several thousand photographs that trip and still look back fondly at them. That trip was a week long action packed moment in time.
Several days after I had returned to the states, I received a panic phone call from her indicating that "someone" had created a fake Facebook account and had sent her then boyfriend who had just purposed to her in March of that very same year, her parents and herself an email. She had asked if I had seen it or gotten a copy of it, I had not and to my amazement within moments the fake Facebook person sent me a copy as well. Interesting I thought, and timely. The email essentially described the fact that I had made the trip as well as things that were done on that trip that only she and I knew. She accused me of telling everyone about the trip, telling everyone what we had done, that was confusing because I was not sure "who" everyone was considering I was not about to tell my wife or daughter and my time spent in my art studio I was alone 99.9 percent of the time!
I told her to calm down we would find out who did this somehow. I was able to extract and save the entire Facebook page set up by this person and quickly discovered that there was a great deal of data imbedded in it. I spent a few days pulling out what I could and then discovered what was a list of i.p. addresses. At the time I thought they were nothing more then the addresses for those visiting the page. I would soon find out the truth!
I purchased a piece of software the allowed me to enter the addresses and trace them. They were not as it turns out individual addresses, they were all linked together and lead me to the person who created the Facebook page. The results took only an hour to discover and because I had trouble lifting my jaw off the table at seeing the results I reran the trace several dozen times! The trace lead me back to her, right down to her computer name. Confused I wondered why exactly she would do this, why she would lie about it! I decided not to tell her, but to point her in a different direction so I could some how verify this potentially damaging information. So I concocted a lame story about someone else and every-time it was brought up I deflected it to: I need time, results need to be sure...blah, blah, blah.
When I say they were not i.p. addresses from individuals I mean they were of computers but the way the internet works when you visit a site you reach across many computers, the software I purchased traced a line from each i.p. address back to the only person who could have created the fake Facebook page. Now I needed to verify what I had found out. One of the things she would do was get ready for bed and fall asleep while I worked on my art while we were on Skype. It was one of those things I enjoyed about our time together. None the less during one of these Skype sessions I fired up the software I had purchased and ran a live trace. One of the things I had discovered about the internet was that if a computer could reuse a known pathway it would. The result of this trace was in fact nearly identical to the one above. The most damning part of it was the fact that both traces pointed directly to her phone/internet service provider all the way down to her computer name. They were identical on both traces!
Why would someone do this? Was the question that kept creeping into my head. Why would someone put her parents through such a thing let alone the man she claimed to want to marry, though the later was a bit sketchy considering she had been having affairs since he proposed just months before. Maybe it was a way to break it off from him, maybe it was a way to anger her parents enough so they would leave her alone. I really don't know, things got very crazy with both our lives in the months ahead and I would never talk about it, I never told her of the results I had found. I did talk to a few other very close friends looking for some sort of reality check but again life got in the way so it was never discussed with her.
The actions of others are as confusing as ever, they hurt, they cause doubt in this case they were designed to hurt others. She was one that used the word "hate" very often regardless if it was about a thing or person all the while claiming to be a "nice" person. I do think she is full of hate, but hate mostly for herself. That hate unfortunately gets misdirected onto others, her family, her friends, even her lovers. I am most frustrated with the fact that she never came clean about this, I gave her endless opportunity, she kept to her story like the perfect little liar.
After seeing her once more here in the states and then again in her home town our relationship had come to a close, we tried on a few occasions to speak but the anger between us was and is still much to great. My anger at having discovered who she really is will prevent me from ever communicating with her again. I enjoyed the good times we spent together but someone that devious would stop at nothing to hurt others. On a side note she did admit hacking into my email and Facebook that first week we spent together in Europe, oddly enough her reasoning was she did not trust me. Not a way to start a relationship with someone, then again maybe all she wanted was to use me to drive a wedge further between her parents, her boyfriend and herself. I don't know anymore as I question the reality of it all!
The actions of others cause pain and hurt, if she ever makes it back to my blog and reads this it will be the first time she discovers that I know/have known the truth of her actions, that I am embarrassed for her because of them, as I have been since the second I discovered it!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Feeling you inside me
As we sit on my bed, your breasts pushing up against my back, I can feel
your heartbeat pounding. My hands running over your skin as they run
from your knees to your beautiful hips, my hands trembling at the touch
of you.
I feel you inside me.
I feel your heart pounding next to mine!
My hands reaching behind you feeling those hips of yours, wanting more but enjoying what they have. Your skin getting tighter as they run along the surface of your body, feeling the reaction that you can no longer control. We are locked in a position of restricted movement, but an entirely beautiful position to be in, your body pressed tightly against mine, your beautiful breasts pressed hard into my back.
Your heart pounding next to mine I can feel you inside me.
Your breath a warm flush against my neck as you kiss me, the cool air blowing through the window gives a hint of the pending fall weather, your nipples pressing even deeper into me.
Our bodies are entwined as one in our contorted effort to explore each other.
I dare not change or move for fear of disturbing the dream of you inside me, our hearts now beating as one. The heat from our bodies now causing steam to rise from the seam that once separated us but now seals us. Your hands wrapped around my chest, your fingers moving to feel my piercings as mine give you a gentile massage.
I can feel the excitement in you as we sit in a contorted embrace while I feel you inside me.
You kissing... the touch of your lips on my neck and back, feeling you pressing tight up against me, your nipples erect from both excitement and the chill in the air. We sit in this embrace never once speaking.
Just closed eyes as we explore the concept of you inside me!
I feel you inside me.
I feel your heart pounding next to mine!
My hands reaching behind you feeling those hips of yours, wanting more but enjoying what they have. Your skin getting tighter as they run along the surface of your body, feeling the reaction that you can no longer control. We are locked in a position of restricted movement, but an entirely beautiful position to be in, your body pressed tightly against mine, your beautiful breasts pressed hard into my back.
Your heart pounding next to mine I can feel you inside me.
Your breath a warm flush against my neck as you kiss me, the cool air blowing through the window gives a hint of the pending fall weather, your nipples pressing even deeper into me.
Our bodies are entwined as one in our contorted effort to explore each other.
I dare not change or move for fear of disturbing the dream of you inside me, our hearts now beating as one. The heat from our bodies now causing steam to rise from the seam that once separated us but now seals us. Your hands wrapped around my chest, your fingers moving to feel my piercings as mine give you a gentile massage.
I can feel the excitement in you as we sit in a contorted embrace while I feel you inside me.
You kissing... the touch of your lips on my neck and back, feeling you pressing tight up against me, your nipples erect from both excitement and the chill in the air. We sit in this embrace never once speaking.
Just closed eyes as we explore the concept of you inside me!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Standing in the window in studio 3
I climbed up on top of the old radiator and into the window sill of one
of the windows at Studio 3 while talking on the phone with you, I some
how figured it made us closer thinking we were both some how connected
to the sky, the stars then each other. We got around the frustration of
dropped calls… hate the phone on a train thing, just hate it.
Regardless we got through it, one spoke the other listened, interrupted
only on occasion because of someone walking past while you were standing
in the narrow hallway.
Your words fill my mind, your sounds fill my heart, and you fill my every desire as we speak. We talked about your day and then some more intimate and very satisfying things. Those little things we like to do to each other, whenever we meet again.
Standing in the window of Studio 3 I watch as people walk into the DIA unsuspecting of the conversation unfolding just 3 stories above their heads, with your deep breaths you reveal to me your desire, your feelings, your passion. “I want you” is blurted out, “I want you too” is my response. Here it is six hours after that call ended and I still want you, still feel the passion and desire in me to take you. It never subsides for me. It just builds until we have the next conversation, the next time I hear I want you. I want you, three very powerful words when two people are standing in front of each other and can act on them, even more powerful words when two people are thousands of miles apart, “I want you”! I feel me inside you, I feel you inside me, I feel every stroke we make and from the look on your eyebrows so do you,
I want you… three very powerful words standing nude in front of each other, even more powerful thousands of miles apart.
We tell each other “those words”; I love you, three very powerful words to be sure. I never say them lightly, I don’t offer those words to very many people, certainly not the way my life has gone anyway, some throw them around as casually as a “hello” or “nice to see you”, I don’t, I say them only to people I do love, three powerful words. I want you, I love you, is there a difference? I guess it would be only minimal, given whom we are and that we are the same. I want to make love to you in every possible way; I want you in every possible way. Not sure… but I want you, I have wanted you for sometime. We have an open and very much needed intimate relationship for two people who both fight the enemy “loneliness”. But I want more of you, I want all of you, I want to be able to say to you “I want you” right here and now and you able to respond right here and now. I want you to know that I want you, I desire you and I need to feel you in so many ways, for so many lengths of time.
I want you…
I love you…
Your words fill my mind, your sounds fill my heart, and you fill my every desire as we speak. We talked about your day and then some more intimate and very satisfying things. Those little things we like to do to each other, whenever we meet again.
Standing in the window of Studio 3 I watch as people walk into the DIA unsuspecting of the conversation unfolding just 3 stories above their heads, with your deep breaths you reveal to me your desire, your feelings, your passion. “I want you” is blurted out, “I want you too” is my response. Here it is six hours after that call ended and I still want you, still feel the passion and desire in me to take you. It never subsides for me. It just builds until we have the next conversation, the next time I hear I want you. I want you, three very powerful words when two people are standing in front of each other and can act on them, even more powerful words when two people are thousands of miles apart, “I want you”! I feel me inside you, I feel you inside me, I feel every stroke we make and from the look on your eyebrows so do you,
I want you… three very powerful words standing nude in front of each other, even more powerful thousands of miles apart.
We tell each other “those words”; I love you, three very powerful words to be sure. I never say them lightly, I don’t offer those words to very many people, certainly not the way my life has gone anyway, some throw them around as casually as a “hello” or “nice to see you”, I don’t, I say them only to people I do love, three powerful words. I want you, I love you, is there a difference? I guess it would be only minimal, given whom we are and that we are the same. I want to make love to you in every possible way; I want you in every possible way. Not sure… but I want you, I have wanted you for sometime. We have an open and very much needed intimate relationship for two people who both fight the enemy “loneliness”. But I want more of you, I want all of you, I want to be able to say to you “I want you” right here and now and you able to respond right here and now. I want you to know that I want you, I desire you and I need to feel you in so many ways, for so many lengths of time.
I want you…
I love you…
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Body heat
The heat, God the intense heat! Will it ever subside, will it ever cool
off? I had no idea just how hot it was until we met, that first night
standing naked in the window hoping for a breeze to blow though, even a
whisper of a breeze would be welcomed.
Standing there my arm around your waist, my chest pushing up against your back, the softness of your breasts brushing my arm bringing a new sensation every-time we moved ever so slightly. We stood rocking from side to side watching as the crowed went about there lives 3 stories below us, never once suspecting we were there in an embrace so tight we became one.
As I brushed your long hair over to one side it allowed me to see those delicate ears I speak about, allowed me to gently caress the nape of your neck with my lips, the sweet taste of you as we stood in the heat. My arm wrapped around your waist your arm on top of mine, your fingers exploring every inch of mine. Slowly touching each knuckle, my finger tips. My right arm dropped to feel the length of your waist, hip and leg... the soft texture of your skin in the heat, boiling under my finger tips.
We stand there swaying slowly from side to side, watching the night sky as the stars slowly drift though. A gentile kiss on the side of your neck, my lips exploring your ear, while I whisper "I am here, standing right behind you" a playful tug on your earlobe produces that smile of yours, those dreamy eyes lift up enough to meet mine but then just as quickly drift back to the nights wandering sky.
Standing there slowly swaying from side to side, embraced so tight that the sweat from our bodies forms an immovable suction and we are locked in that position, neither of us mind and we continue some very soft explorations of the other, small areas on can reach without breaking the embrace, without breaking the rhythm of our movement.
My right hand moves to rest on your belly and a small but gentile gesture on my part brings a smile to your face again. You now exploring my face with your lips, my left ear, my neck, we sway to the rhythm of us, we move according to that rhythm and we breathe each other in with deep breaths, filling our lungs completely. We sway from side to side never moving but exploring every bit we can without breaking that embrace.
The night comes to an end with the sound of a phone beeping in my ear, my battery was dying and the connection was about to be lost, we were standing there swaying from side to side and I had never left my studio, you were thousands of miles away, we were connected because it was the only way it could be, you were standing in your studio looking out over the nights sky and I was in mine looking out over a bustling city. Both of us standing there swaying alone, but as one, exploring the other as though we were together.
Whispering in your ear "I am hear with you, I am always with you", you whispering back "I know I feel you here everyday, I see you when my eyes are closed, I feel you when I sleep". The breathing, the motion, the scent, the taste was all consuming, it was life saving for the both of us.
After the connection was lost I walked over to the sink and grabbed a towel because despite having the air conditioner on full blast I had left a small pool of sweat on the studio floor, glancing up in the small mirror above the sink I noticed several small lips stick marks on my neck. I could feel you with me, smell your scent in the air. I could still feel the two of us swaying from side to side in that tight embrace
Never wanting to let go, never getting enough.
Standing there my arm around your waist, my chest pushing up against your back, the softness of your breasts brushing my arm bringing a new sensation every-time we moved ever so slightly. We stood rocking from side to side watching as the crowed went about there lives 3 stories below us, never once suspecting we were there in an embrace so tight we became one.
As I brushed your long hair over to one side it allowed me to see those delicate ears I speak about, allowed me to gently caress the nape of your neck with my lips, the sweet taste of you as we stood in the heat. My arm wrapped around your waist your arm on top of mine, your fingers exploring every inch of mine. Slowly touching each knuckle, my finger tips. My right arm dropped to feel the length of your waist, hip and leg... the soft texture of your skin in the heat, boiling under my finger tips.
We stand there swaying slowly from side to side, watching the night sky as the stars slowly drift though. A gentile kiss on the side of your neck, my lips exploring your ear, while I whisper "I am here, standing right behind you" a playful tug on your earlobe produces that smile of yours, those dreamy eyes lift up enough to meet mine but then just as quickly drift back to the nights wandering sky.
Standing there slowly swaying from side to side, embraced so tight that the sweat from our bodies forms an immovable suction and we are locked in that position, neither of us mind and we continue some very soft explorations of the other, small areas on can reach without breaking the embrace, without breaking the rhythm of our movement.
My right hand moves to rest on your belly and a small but gentile gesture on my part brings a smile to your face again. You now exploring my face with your lips, my left ear, my neck, we sway to the rhythm of us, we move according to that rhythm and we breathe each other in with deep breaths, filling our lungs completely. We sway from side to side never moving but exploring every bit we can without breaking that embrace.
The night comes to an end with the sound of a phone beeping in my ear, my battery was dying and the connection was about to be lost, we were standing there swaying from side to side and I had never left my studio, you were thousands of miles away, we were connected because it was the only way it could be, you were standing in your studio looking out over the nights sky and I was in mine looking out over a bustling city. Both of us standing there swaying alone, but as one, exploring the other as though we were together.
Whispering in your ear "I am hear with you, I am always with you", you whispering back "I know I feel you here everyday, I see you when my eyes are closed, I feel you when I sleep". The breathing, the motion, the scent, the taste was all consuming, it was life saving for the both of us.
After the connection was lost I walked over to the sink and grabbed a towel because despite having the air conditioner on full blast I had left a small pool of sweat on the studio floor, glancing up in the small mirror above the sink I noticed several small lips stick marks on my neck. I could feel you with me, smell your scent in the air. I could still feel the two of us swaying from side to side in that tight embrace
Never wanting to let go, never getting enough.
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